8 Diet Tips LOL

DIET TIPS
1) If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories.
2) If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar - they cancel each other out.
3) When eating with someone else, cut your calories in half.
4) Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as: chocolate, brandy, and Sara Lee Cheese Cake.
5) If you fatten up everyone around you then you look thinner.
6) Movie related foods don't count because they simply part of the movie experience - the entertainment factor.
7) Pieces of cookies contain no calories. The process of breaking up whole cookies into pieces causes the calories to leak out.
8) Late Night snacking has no calories because it's too dark to read the calorie counts off the package. It's way too dark to write them in you counter book anyway.
(a version was printed in Ann Landers column)